Short Heartbreaking Novel in 3 parts by Bart Doets - NATASHA, FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE
Part I. From Russia with love
Part II. Touching the void
Part III. Dawn

Part I. From Russia with love

Tuesday, 09-10-2007

Surfing the Internet, to be more specific; one of the most famous datingsites, called RP. Why I am there? I don't know, fun?

Scrolling down the profiles. Sometimes a nice picture, sometimes a nice line from the ladies. None of them really made me stop turning that little mousewheel. To be honest, they didn't interest me, not only on the internet, but also in the outside world.

Ok I agree, enough beautiful and nice woman out there, I met a lot of them. I always can get along well with women. Nice especially with a beer in one hand and a smoke in the other, getting a compliment from time to time, and giving some of course. Couple of laughs, you know. But none of them made my heart pound like an old runaway diesel engine.

Then, suddenly something caught my eye. A profile. Simple and just one line written down. But nor that line, nor the picture of her face where the reasons that stopped me from scrolling further.

It was her name; Natasha

I don't know why, but millions of nerve cells in my brains where furiously connecting together. I opened her profile, it read she was a doctor, and liked books about romantic history, and literature from Chehov, Tolstoi and Dostoevskiy. Well it wasn't very hard to figure out where she must have come from. Her profile didn't really tell me much they are always very shallow. But somehow she already got me, I just didn't realize it yet.

What should I write to her? Will she even see or read my message between the dozens of others from all those stupid and frustrated low life man?

Let me first tell you a little bit more about myself. See it as some sort of profile, then you have a slight idea about the person that is the main character in this story. I am a thirty-year-old young man living in Amsterdam. Originally I came from a small village in the south of Holland. Have two older sisters, sometimes I say I've had three mothers when I was young. My childhood was fine, we lived in the countryside, played a lot outdoors with friends doing all the things young kids do. Spend a lot of hours on the back of a horse, I still love that, it's only a little difficult in a city to do that. My high school period took some more time then usually expected. I started at the bottom and after nine years I had the highest education in my pocket. I ended up in Amsterdam a several years ago and started my study dentistry, after four years blown away thanks to the lottery system. I have a good social life and enough friends around me. To be honest I have nothing to complain about. Ok for me it's hard to learn the theory of my education, but that's another story. I always can get along pretty well with people. Friends know me as a friendly and gentle person. I am not a macho, not all, more like a no nonsense kind of guy. I like having a beer once in a while especially with some nice company. Am I good looking? Well that's not up to me to say, but I don't think I really have to complain. I don't believe in God, but I sure think there's more between heaven and earth then we people know of. And yes I can be philosophical from time to time. And I always try to explain things in a logical kind of way, but most man have that problem, according to women.

So, in a nutshell, I am a down to earth totally normal sane person. Except for one thing, and that's what this story is about.

I wrote her a small and simple message, maybe even to simple. Anyway, why not.

Let's make myself another cup of coffee.

Ten minits later, ping...

"Hallo Bart,

Thanks.beautiful ;-)

Natasha, from Russia with love ;-)....."

First contact.

I didn't expect this so quick, but I loved it, so a few other short messages where send back and forth as easy and quickly the 21 st century technology makes that possible these days.

And within 30 minutes we both logged on to the famous beloved and hated msn-messenger.

I learned she was a doctor, and made her PD as a gynaecologist. Came to Holland about six months ago. Now studying for the Dutch language and after that she wants to confirm her diplomas.

I was a little bit suspicious, I mean you never know, is she telling the truth? Well I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. So after some small conversations and E-mails during that week we decided to have a date.

I had to say where, so that Thursday I mailed to her: "Friday at Proust 8 o'clock?"

No reply..

Nothing, so I figured that she wouldn't come, made some other plans for that evening. Went to central station to visit my sister in Haarlem. Feeling a little disappointed though, but it didn't really matter to me.

A sudden buzz woke me up from my daydream. I had a message.

"Hi Bart, I was at Proust but didn't find you sorry. Natasha"

Wow, that was the last thing I expected. She was there! Shit, now what? I've lost a lot of points there now. "Call her, now!" A voice in my mind said. My hands where sweaty and I felt my blood pressure rise as the small device in my hand was sending it's signal into the air, to find contact with a phone, it never had contacted before. . . . .

I wondered how the sound of her voice would be and her accent, I was curious. "Natasha" the phone whispered in my ear. "Hi Natasha, it's Bart here, I just received you're message"

The conversation was short, and I apologised. It was a miscommunication. She sounded sweet and didn't blame me. So we should try it again, and that would be Sunday. I will pick you up after you're work, at seven. "That's ok," she said, "but not like last time." "This time I won't let you down," I answered.

Now I was really looking forward to our second chance of meeting. I was sincere interested in this eastern Slavic woman.

Sunday, 14-10-2007

Seven o'clock sharp I stood in front of the shop where she works. Seconds past away like minutes, and minutes looked like hours.

Ten past seven now, should I send a message? Damn what if I missed her again?

"Relax," ten minutes is ok.

"Hi" I turned around and there she was. Black coat, black sweater. Skirt and nice leather boots. Straight long, brown hair. Nice face, smooth skin. And her eyes; dark, shiny, vivid and a little further apart then European women. Was it one of the Slavic characteristics? Or was that last thing just in my mind?

We went to van Zuylen, just around the corner. We sat down at a table next to the window. I ordered one dry white wine and a beer for myself.

And we started talking. Chitchat, about ourselves, what we did, what we liked, disliked. Serious and silly talk. Laughs, and all kinds of subjects past by and time flew. Before we knew, it was already past midnight and we decided to go home.

I walked her to her bike, told her I really enjoyed this evening. She said she did to. "Do I see you again some time?" I asked nervously, afraid of what she would say. But yes, she wanted to see me again.

I gave her three kisses on her cheeks, and she went off. I watched her turning around the corner, and started to walk home.

As I walked down the street, only one single word came into my mind, it's not even a word.

Wow. WOW!

"What a woman" I thought, smart, intelligent, nice, sophisticated and yes to be honest, good looking as well.

I was truly impressed.

The next evening when I came home I turned on my computer, waiting for a specific name to pop up on msn messenger. Eight O'clock it was. Bongggg. And we started to chat. It was like last night, we talked about many things again. About last evening, how much she liked it and the really good time we'd spend. We both didn't expect it to be so nice and comfortable. We made plans about things to do together. So I asked when she'd time again, "All the time" she answered. So we made a second date on Thursday around two in the afternoon. She liked the idea to make a trip on the canals in my boat, "only if the weather is nice" I said, "otherwise it's no fun. If it's not I will think of some other nice things to do."

She said things like, that she felt comfortable with me and that she wanted to know me better. The conversation was going smooth, pages and pages passed by. We joked, nice ones, sarcastic ones. Dozens of subjects scrolled down my screen. And I was impressed by her knowledge, about history and in general. I think she will even beat me with the game "Trivial Pursuit." Even subjects as Albert Einstein and his relativity theory where discussed. Wow. My first time I heard a woman talking about that and knowing what its about!

It was passed one a.m. when we decided to go to sleep.

We said "goodnight" and "sweet dreams" to eachother, and two electronic devices disconnected from the World Wide Web.

I gazed at my black screen, didn't know what to think, but I sure thought this was one in a million.

She sounded to good to be true.

Far, far away in the back of my mind there was a sound. Like an old fashioned air raid which was trying to start up. But it was already weakened by the first shot of endorfines which where rushing through my veins. It faded away, until it went silent.

The next evening the messenger chat continued for another couple of hours and another pack of pages. She told me she'd started her medicine at 17! And by the end of 2005 she already got her PG in gynaecology, she was only 25 then. In my opinion it's a big, big achievement. We discussed medical stuff in dentistry and gynaecology. It was nice, because we both understood the subjects; we both had enough background knowledge to understand eachother. Other topics, like relations, how they should be and the "perfect" man and woman passed by. About love and feelings, trust and all other things that we found important in life. That when you find somebody you love, you will do everything for that person. It seemed we had so much in common, or was it just my mind that wanted that to be?

She asked me if I knew the song; "I want to be special, so fucking special" And I knew immediately what song that was. It's Creep, from Radiohead. She said that she wanted to be fucking special for someone.

It would only be a matter of days, and she would become fucking special for that someone.

And I wonder if she'll ever know that she was!


When you were here before,

couldn't look you in the eye.

You're just like an angel,

your skin makes me cry.

You float like a feather,

in a beautiful world

I wish I was special,

you're so fucking special.


For now I understood her, I wanted to be special too. So fucking special!

Around 2 am we decided it was time to go to bed. It took almost ten minits before we both logged off. Our conversation ended with words like;

bye, sweet dreams and

Spokojnoj Nochi ljoebimjetse 1

Thursday, 18-10-2007

It was cold, but it was a sunny day and the sky was blue and clear. There I was in front of her house, as we agreed and rang the door. A short time later she came down. It was a nice rendez vous again. She looked great, her hair in a pony tail, thick grey winter jacket, black jeans, the kind with the pockets on the sides of the legs.

We took our bikes and went off, I arranged a place at the Knijn bowling centre. Ok its crazy, but fun. She cycled like a real Russian woman was my first thought. Through red lights, even at the big crossings and pretty fast, I had to do my best to keep up. So I warned her, "watch out! Before you know you'll get hit by a tram and end up like Anna Karenina."

A short time later we where there, put on the nice and fancy bowling shoes. And I started the bowling computer. The next few games where between Russia and Holland. It was fun, we laughed, and talked a lot.

She seemed like a happy and confident woman. Who knew exactly what she wanted, in the present and the future. We played three games, the first I won, the second I lost, and the last one I won again.

Russia une point, Hollandais deux points.

I don't know how we did it, but somehow we never ran out of subjects to talk about. And I can't even remember about what we all talked about, but I liked listening to her. Our conversations, about Russia, Holland and the differences between them. I liked her voice, her accent. The u's pronounced as an a. So ugly became agly. Later on I found out that is because in the Russian language they don't have the short u, like in; cut. I didn't care, I liked it already. I loved it. We talked about language, the Dutch and the Russian. And the Russian language, which in the beginning sounds harsh and brutal, sounded sweet and exotic when I heard her talking to her mother on the phone.

She had studied in Moscow, came originally from the Ukraine, and lives in Crimea. The place that is famous because of its luxurious bathing places. It's the cote d'azur of Russia. I learned a lot about that country and I think it's nice to visit it, but when I heard her I also think it's still a second world country.

She came to Holland because she'd met a Dutch guy she fell in love with, but apparently that didn't work out the first month they started to live together here. And besides that, she told me, because the salary is also much better here, especially when you're doctor.

And again the old air raid siren tried to start up, but was

immediately knocked out by an army of millions of endorfines my brains send to shut it down. Just before it could reach its alarming and shrieking noise.

We went on to the centre of the city and found a billiard centre at the rokin. We played pool. And damn she could give that cue a really strong burst. And yes I lost, big time. But I didn't care, I liked being with her, having fun, playing a nice game, and yes we kept on talking, talking and talking.

I couldn't help myself from looking at her, her body, her face, her legs, her ass, and her breasts. Her smile and especially her eyes. And all those things combined.

Vom Gottes handen geformt. I felt weakened every minute. And time past by.

After playing pool we went to Tuschinski. To the motion picture "A mighty heart" with Angelina Jolie. Trying to sit as close as possible to her, smelling her perfume. "Shall I touch her?" Damn I wanted to kiss her, but no, that would be a teenager kind of action. "Hold your horses" I said to myself.

It was past midnight that I drove her home. We hugged eachother as we said goodbye, I gave her three kisses on her cheeks again. I didn't have the guts to give her the kiss I wanted to give her. To be honest I didn't even think about that. But that day would come, sooner then I expected.

I loved being with her, and I really hated to go home, why does time fly when you have fun? It should be the other way around.

I went home, got myself a beer and a smoke, thinking about this beautiful day. Turned on my pc to check of there probably would be some mail. And yes again msn, there she was again, we both didn't want to go to sleep. And we talked deep into the night.

Three o'clock it was when we both found ourselves sleepy enough to finally go to bed. I was gone within a few minutes. And I slept through the night, with a beautiful Russian woman in the back of my mind.

Friday, 19-10-2007

And yes the silly chat continued the next evening, but it was short cause we both wanted to see eachother again. So I went, first to the Albert-Heijn to buy a nice bottle of wine, and I'd brought some nice motion pictures as well. Around nine I arrived. And yes again it was a nice evening, can't remember which movie we watched. I don't care. We sat close, God I wanted to kiss her, but I barely dared wrap my arm around her. And before I knew it was past midnight again. I told myself to go home, and not to stay here like a silly boy. I put on my shoes, stood up for my jacket, close by the door.

We said goodbye, we held eachother, firmly. It felt like we both never wanted to let go. I felt her warm cheek against mine. I breathed in, God I love her smell. I moved my head a little bit. Touched her neck with my lips. And kissed her there. My heart was pounding.

Again I moved my head, twisted a little I could feel her lips. And I kissed her. And she returned my kiss by opening her mouth.

Softly and gentle our tongues found eachother. And I could feel all kinds of hormones where shot into our veins, millions hormones did their jobs, and they are good at it!

We got on fire!

Our tongues twirled around eachother, like it was a fight on life or death. She bit my lips, I was aroused, and I pushed her against the wall. Held her head as we kissed. It was full of passion, and we both wanted one thing;


We where hot, I know that for sure. We had to get a grip to ourselves, I had to get home, it shouldn't go so fast, but it felt so good.

"Go" she said, her eyes where closed and she faced down. "Go, I can not control myself much longer."

Doesn't any man wants to hear that?

I went, I didn't want to spoil this beautiful moment. I went home, and I felt like I'd just conquered the whole world.

Saturday, 20-10-2007

The evening went by pretty much like the last one. Except that now that when we met again, we started where we left off last night, kissing. And we had a nice evening, but now she wanted me to stay and sleep next to her, we'd agreed on not having sex yet. Well that was difficult, but we managed that.

Of course when we lay next to eachother, we held, and kissed eachother. I caressed her body, her breasts her legs, everything. Kissed her all over, she made me crazy. Caressed her belly. Kissed her bellybutton and I could smell the smooth scent of her vagina. But no we didn't go further. Although it was hard to control ourselves. But I already loved laying next to her. Spending the night and holding this wonderful creation of God. And I thanked him for meeting her. And I wished that this would last for the rest of our lifes.

She felt warm when she laid in my arms. Her head on my chest my arm around her, that's how we fell asleep. And that's how we woke up.

She had to go to work, we cycled into the centre, and at the crossing of the Nassaukade and the Clerqstreet our ways separated with a kiss.

The next two nights I slept alone, but yes we kept in touch. Of course, she liked me, and I liked her.

She made me feel secure and strong. I never thought I would be needing that, but I did and it felt good. I'd risen up, but I am not sure from what.

Than on a certain moment, my phone rang. And by the tone of the riddle I knew it was she. My heart skipped a beat and then started to pound again, only now twice as fast, boosted by the adrenaline. At this time I realized, what was going on. That made me feel good, but also black clouds darkened the clear sky in my mind. Because I have learned in the past that this can make you and break you.

Yes, break you.

Been there done that, and I had sworn to myself, that I would never let that happen to me again. And maybe that's the reason that the last few years I never let a woman into my heart. Yes of course I did meet nice women during that time. But like I told you before, they never could break through the wall I had built around my heart during my life. I knocked it off just before they could reach the outer walls.

But Natasha, she was different, somehow she had tore down that brick wall with a force so big it just shattered into thousand pieces. Like a crystal glass falling on a concrete floor. She had opened all gates. And she was already inside.

She had stolen my heart.

I was falling in love.

Tuesday, 23-10-2007

We spend another evening together in a cosy and warm environment. She looked better every time I saw her again. She wore a bathrobe and I discovered that underneath was just a tiny piece of black sexy lingerie. Maybe because of that the heather was set on a pretty high temperature. I didn't care, just loved being with her, and loved how she had made me dinner and cappuccino after that. And loved the way she kissed me. Her perfume, was like a sedative, a mix of some faded expensive eau de toilette and the scent of her own sexy feminine body. We had dinner she made me, candles, wine and the moonlight sonata played in the background. After dinner we watched another motion picture, but we didn't see half of it. We just could not keep our hands of of eachother. I discovered that she went crazy, licking and biting her ear. At a certain point we got so aroused, I lifted her up, carried her upstairs, threw her on her bed and laid down next to her. It didn't take long before I took of her bathrobe. She took of my clothes. Somehow at those moments clothes never cooperate. Both almost naked. I did not know where to begin.

Kissed her, again and again, squeezed her breasts, bit her nipples as I slowly went down on her. I truly caressed her body. I thanked God for his skills, how could he have made this out of one single male rib? I took of her panties. Caressed her inner thighs. Smelled her there. Softly touched her vagina. Kissed her there. Then I went crazy, like a shark smelling his prey, and went all the way. I tasted her sweet salty moist. I saw her beautiful body curling and shivering underneath me. She wanted more, I wanted more, we wanted more.

I laid myself on top of her, held her head as I kissed her. Spread her legs, and felt myself slide inside her, we made love.

It started like our first kiss, slowly, and tender. But we both wanted more. We turned around, she was sitting on top of me. Straight up. I caressed her breasts, her back, and her ass. And hit it, as she was riding me. We were unstoppable and both wanted more, more and more. We'd had sex like it was the end of days.

I wont go any further on details now. And I agree that besides making love it was also pure sex and lust, but we needed this! And the game went on for a few hours as the room filled itself with the scent of sex. Exhausted, sweaty but feeling relieved we fell asleep close next to eachother.

The next days I felt like I was on pure cocaine. I had an amount of power inside me, not even ten horses could compete with that. I was totally focused with what I was doing. While working, or studying, even going to the shop. I had total control, and somehow she was with me all that time. Yes I missed her during the time we didn't meet, but it felt good. I knew we would meet soon again. She wasn't the kind of girl that would call or message all the time. I loved that, good, also have an own life. But of course we did have contact, we did call or message. I had a girlfriend, and she had already mentioned me as her boyfriend.

And I believed that things could only get better.

Friday, 26-10-2007

She asked me to come over after her work, I arrived around nine. And I didn't expect it at all, but she cooked for me again. Damn I had already eaten. But nevermind, I ate it all, and it tasted good.

And the evening went by slowly . We made plans to do, like visit some museums in the city. Some of them I'd even never had visited yet. Shame on me! It's my city. "then we should go there" she said. I asked her if she wanted to meet my friends, "yes that would be nice, are they nice?" "of course they are nice they're my friends" and slowly we got to know eachother better bit by bit. And I wanted to know everything about her, all of her. Somehow I just wanted to crawl inside her, feeling as one.

I felt at home with her. It's difficult to explain. But I felt totally comfortable. No stress at all, like we already known eachother for years. She'd told me she had the same. Isn't that great that you can talk about such things, and just say what you think and how you feel?

After a while we went to bed, she wanted to have a shower first. So she did, and I washed the dishes. After that I refreshed myself as well.

When I opened the bedroomdoor it saw it was lit by a light. But it was not electric, she'd lit candles, and not just one, I didn't count them, there where too many. And she'd laid herself on the bed in a pose you only see in magazines. She was wearing stockings with suspenders. No panties. And a matching see through top. "Jesus Christ" I thought by myself. No! Better: "Maria Magdalena!"

Beauty, brains and horny! Isn't that the perfect woman? I slipped into bed. "Hi gorgeous" I whispered in her ear. Bit her earlobe and licked the rest of it. Doing that she suddenly inhaled, pressed her jaws together, showed me her teeth and looked at me. If only looks could fuck.

We kissed, touched, and caressed eachother, all over everywhere. She felt hot and soft. Her skin was smooth and tasted sweet and salty of her fresh sweat. We had sex, hot and steamy, slow and hard. "fuck me" she whispered as she was laying with her ass on the edge of the bed while I was going down on her. And I did fuck her, and because she said so, I knew she wanted it hard. And she could get it that way. After some time the neighbours started bouncing on the wall cause we kept them awake. "don't mind" I said, "they're jealous" and the show went on. It was deep in the night when I blew out the candles and we laid back. Exhausted, laid myself behind her and spoonwise we fell asleep.

A few hours later the radio went off at eight, she had to go to work. And because I already knew that she would need the bathroom for at least 45 minits, I took a quick shower in advance. What are woman doing in that amount of time? Went downstairs, put on the music, made her coffee and breakfast.

Around nine thirty we had to go. But not before she had blown dry my hair. "why?" I asked, "you don't go out with wet hair, you'll get sick" "no I won't I do it all the time" But I let her, loved the feeling of her hands through my hair. After that we went. It was cold outside, she put on her long leather gloves, looked at me blinked her eye and said: "maybe next time I can put thees on, to hold a wheep" I loved how she pronounced the i as ee as in wheep what should be whip. "don't even go there" I said with a smile. We went. And again our ways separated at the crossing of the Nassaukade and the Clerqstreet with a kiss. And everybody around us saw that, and I wanted them to see. "That's my girl" I wanted to scream out.

Sunday, 28-10-2007

The weekend went by, as many others. We spend some quality time together. I asked her what she thought about Holland so far. And told me that she didn't feel much at home in this country. She really disliked her job and I don't blame her. I know it takes time and its hard to build up you're life in a strange country. She felt unheimisch, because of the language and the people living here and missed her family. I understood her, Dutch is difficult, its like Russian for us. And to be separated from your family and loved ones. She said that the people here are "cold." That's something I can agree and disagree on. It is different here, and maybe people aren't as open as in other countries. But that's no excuse for not making new friends here. Her job also annoyed her, she wasn't free in the weekends, and she was frustrated that it is a stupid and boring one compared to what she is educated for. But I knew better days would come. And a better and nicer job could be found. And eventually when her diplomas would be validated than she would be able to do what she loves to do.

"Try to speak the language as fast as possible." I told her, "it's the key to everything. It takes time but you will get there, you're smart enough."

And I will do everything to help you with that. Somehow I felt sorry for her, because I wanted her to be happy. And I thought I could make her.

I was falling deeper and deeper in love by the day. I was proud. Proud about my feelings, and her feelings for me. Proud that I'd found a beautiful and intelligent and high educated woman. Smart sexy and funny. I felt like a real man, felt complete. Couldn't wait for he day to meet her my friends. And to meet her again of course. Just wanted to see their eyes looking at us when we would come in. Wondering who that gorgeous lady is, walking by my side. Giving me lovely looks. Giving me small signs of attention, like a simple blink of an eye, from the other side of the room, just letting me know she's ok. And all those other things lovers do. And knowing that no other man had a change with her, cause she'd already chosen for me. And I would be the one who would go home with her. I would put her into bed and take care of her.

Tuesday, 30-10-2007

I stayed at Natasha's, I went there as soon as my job was done. The next day we both had a day off. We'd made plans to do in city. I was looking forward to it. But Natasha, didn't feel well. She was having a cold, and was complaining that she looked like a homeless. Homeless? In a figure of speech maybe she was. But it would be the first gorgeous homeless woman I'd ever seen with high heeled leather boots from Prada.

I hoped that she would be better after a good night sleep. She looked fine to me, but she told me she wasn't. So we stayed at home. We didn't do much that day and in the afternoon I had to go because I had to work that evening.

I did miss her during the times we didn't meet. And I liked it, because I knew it was only temporary.

Saturday, 03-11-2007

An annoying sound woke me up, it was the alarm she'd set for another working day. I hated it. We turned around one more time. I felt her warm body, and smelled her pure and sweet scent. Mixed with the vague smell of sex coming from under the blankets. But I could only enjoy all this for just another ten minits, then the snooze time would be over and the alarm would wake us up again.

"I would like to spend all day in bed. " I whispered. "Yesss, I'd love that." She whispered back. "And I want to go in bath, with lots of candles and champagne." "That's a very nice idea." I whispered back, and kissed her shoulder.

After our morning ritual we went of. She got to go to work and I went to my car to pay a visit to my parents.

The road was quiet on this early Saturday morning. The car felt like it was floating, and a nice beat bounced in my ears. I was daydreaming, looked aside at the empty passenger seat. And wondered when she would be sitting there to come with me, to introduce her to my parents. And I was sure that day would come soon enough. Yes my parents will like her, I was sure about that.

She asked me if I wanted to go out with her and her friends next weekend. Of course I wanted that, and told her I was looking forward to it. Like she did, she liked the idea of coming home together late at night. And I loved that idea. I would take her home safely. She told me she liked that there was somebody who would take care of her. And I did too.

Friday, 09-11-2007

Another evening at Natasha's. This time I should cook. So I brought some stuff. Low fat, she'd asked for. Well that would be the first time for me, but I managed to find a nice recipe. But the evening was different, she wasn't really there. Doing stupid things on her laptop.

We went to bed to go to sleep, "good night sweety," and kissed on her forehead. "don't do that" she said, "I have cream on my face" Well I know woman have some strange rituals sometimes, but this was new for me. "What's that supposed to mean?" What kind of secret cream is this? A 200-euro a bottle cream? Was the only thing what came in my mind that could make a little bit sense. Never mind I thought, and went to sleep.

That night I had a dream, a strange dream. I was in her apartment together with some other people. Natasha wasn't there in the beginning. And I wasn't in charge. It was another man who was in control and told us how to behave for the lady of the house. And when Natasha showed up, she stood on the other side of the room. It seemed miles away. She looked in our direction, but not to me, I was a stranger there...

(to be continued...)


Explanation to the Russian words: first you read the transliteration, and next to it the translation

  1. Spokojnoj Nochi ljoebimjetse; good night Darling,
  2. Manjiska, Sweety
  3. Sibio; Agengy that provides services for foreign medical doctors.
  4. IND; Immigration and Naturalisation (Dienst) service.
  5. Soeka; Bitch
  6. Prostitoetka; Whore.
  7. Kak Djela?; How are you?
  8. Ja Khorosho; I am fine.
  9. Do svidanya; goodbye
  10. Poka; see you again, so long, bye, goodbye! farewell.

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